Today's Bitch List - 3 Items

item #1: adult acne

It's one of those things they didn't tell you about when you were a kid, and, if they did, you didn't believe them. My thirties have blessed me with a migrating patch of cloggy blackheads and the occasional gigantor zit that sets up camp on my forehead - like on the wedding day - or on my cheek - like right now. Sure, adult acne isn't as awful as most other adult concerns they didn't tell you about - war, grief, pantyhose - but it sure is irritating.

item #2: flip flops vs. cold weather shoes

Another thing nobody warns you about is the side effects of a flip flops addiction. See, my tootsies simply cannot handle the exposure on these cold weather, rainy days; yet every single alternate choice in my tiny closet makes me feel like I'm attached to cement blocks. So far, the only covered shoes that I can really tolerate have turned out to be Crocs, which, frankly, horrifies me. There was a time that I could have handled the Crocs, but that all ended when I took down my Jim Morrison posters. And, I confess, it gets worse: this morning, I pulled on a pair of black socks before slipping my feet into the Crocs...and then...I went to work. This cannot continue!

item #3: cooking

You mean grown ups have to take care of this for themselves? I'm deep into this routine of stocking the cupboards and fridge full of yummy, healthy food, and then going out to eat. For some reason, hours of prep time resulting in a mediocre bowl of vegetable mush simply does not seem to inspire further experimentation in the kitchen. The husband, sweetie that he is, always says it's alright because I'm in school right now...but those days are numbered. Sigh. I wonder, how long does one last on freezer food, smoothies and beer?

I Heart Minesweeper

Despite all that I am capable of getting done in a day, I sure am easily distracted. For the last two years, I've been carrying on a love affair with the PC game, Minesweeper. The clickity clickity click of the game has become my constant companion at work. It whiles away the time when on hold and drowns out the siren call of online shopping. It fills in the doldrums of a slow afternoon and feeds the procrastinator within. It's more addicting than most substances and the box-grid has made appearances in my dreams far too many times.

At one point, I figured it was time to show some control over my obsession; so I broke it off with Minesweeper entirely. "Free, at last," I thought, pressing the delete button with authority. Weeks went by - perhaps even a month or two - during which I found myself yearning for the friend I had so coldly banished from my life. Eventually, guilt got the better of me. The days without Minesweeper had left me far too efficient and there was time to kill. Imagine the elation when I found my love awaiting restoration in the trash!

Things feel back to normal now with Minesweeper back in his rightful place along my taskbar. My addiction is fed on a continual basis and the husband doesn't even have to know a thing about it because, thankfully, the home computer is Minesweeper-free.

starting is the hardest part

where zen ends, ass kicking begins

So goes the quote that has been taped to our bathroom mirror for the last year and a half. The edges of the paper have long since curled to cover the purple, handwritten words. Yet, there it is, the unassuming reminder that catches my eye every now and then. Like yesterday, when it was time to come up with a clever name for this blog.

You know, I try to live with the intentions of love and peace; I try to maintain a balanced perspective on the madness of it all; I try to be zen. But honestly, how the hell did the word BLOG become a part of the vernacular? "Hello, and welcome to my blahhhhhhhhhhhhg." Seriously, folks?! I'd like to go ahead and blame the blog-word itself for keeping me from starting one until now.

But here's the deal, if one is going to label oneself a writer, then one must actually develop their writing practice. I've gotten to know myself pretty well these last thirty-something years; and I can admit that I require a little ass kicking every once in a while in order to reach my goals.

Therefore, to my blog, I say this: Zen time is over.