Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Seriously, I'm Not Making Up This Stuff

Nobody asked for any form of identification from me when I went to vote just now.

Am I wrong to find that a little bit odd and a lot alarming?

Ahh, well, at least I will sleep tight tonight knowing that:



If I Don't Share...

...then I will have only been astounded by myself.

A guy throws open my office door. My desk is about two feet from the front door, so I look up to greet my unexpected visitor. The guy is kinda freaky looking -- tall, skinny, black beard, dark glasses, reeks of patchouli -- but otherwise looks to be a fully functioning adult. He hovers for a moment in the threshold doing who knows what. He mangles a sentence trying to ask me about the doctor's office next door. I say politely pointing to the stairs directly behind him, "Yes, they're right next door, at the top of the stairs."

Seemingly ignoring me, he says, "Yea, but do they have a door?" This is a weird question, but I've heard weirder. So, I answered as clearly and slowly as possible.

"Yes, right there at the top of the stairs." He looks over towards the other door as if he's just now seeing it for the first time even though I'm sure it's been there all along.

"But, how do I get in?"

Uhhhh.

Trying not to laugh and resisting my growing urge throw my stapler at him, I say, "You open the door and if it's locked then it means they aren't there."

That seemed to satisfy him and he closed my door without saying thank you. Before he left, I spied his name tag, which indicated he's a delivery man.

I wonder when they stopped teaching delivery men about the intricate workings of doors?