Twenty Minute Tuesday

Crap. Today I found out it's week 9 of my 10 week school quarter. This sucks extra because I've been planning my entire life for the last month around this week being week 8. I may be somewhat screwed, actually.

Such is the life of a raging procrastinator. There's no one to blame by my own, sweet self. This, of course, makes it all worse because now I must punish myself for the lack of foresight and planning and days of living as though I'm not, in fact, a student. It's tempting, actually, to lock myself in my closet and beat myself silly, like one of those crazy Puritan preachermen who falls in love with the resident hotty widow. But, seeing as I can't stand up in my armoire and the coat closet is full of vacuum cleaners, that level of punishment isn't an option.

I suppose it will be punishment enough to have to miss the Toys for Tots motorcycle parade with the husband this weekend and the canceled (on my account) Big Sur weekend with a few high school buddies.

Poor me.

There's a sort of meloncholy that accompanies this stage of my educational journey at Antioch. Two years ago, when I started, we had just lost my sister and it must have taken well over a year before I really felt like I was in school. I look back at the work I did during those first several quarters and can barely believe I did it all. It couldn't have been me actually doing all that stuff, could it?

I had a great couple of quarters earlier this year, where I felt pretty damned on top of the world as a student. Now we're back to the fog. Back to the "what's happening to time"and "why can't I seem to keep up with anything" experience. I feel so sheepish, sometimes, for not taking full advantage of the time I have with certain professors. A few years from now I'll be pulling my hair out over some story that won't come together and I'll find some clever way to link it all back to that Fall '07 quarter where I lost track of time and forgot that I what I was doing for a couple of months.

It's a little unsettling to consider that this schoolwork procrastinator identity of mine is foreshadowing my identity as a writer. I know it doesn't have to be this way, but it is. This is simply how I be.

Herein lies life's challenge at this moment: embracing shitty habits and allowing them to just be habits so I can move on and get things done already!

Cause, really, who am I hurting by being a procrastinator? Nobody, really. It only hurts me on days that I realize that I can't read a calendar and have lost another week to have fun while delaying the ineveitable.

For now, I will keep the faith that things don't change. If that, indeed, is really the case, then I'm golden. The procrastinator within always manages to step aside just in the knick of time so that Rita can get her work done -- and get it done well.

Fingers officially crossed.

Hybrid Hippies

"Sometimes these revolutionary discussions really do exhaust me."

So said a good friend towards the middle of an evening of planning and plotting clever ways to save the world. Sure thing: figuring out how to swing others to your way o' proper, alternative thinking can really wipe a person out...I feel like I'm recovering on a daily basis.

One of the many perspectives I'm learning to respect, as my education and life continues, is that -- like it or not -- we're all victims of our social era, our cultural norms, our human tendencies. Even the most alternative-living folks around are living with some serious technology in the form of laptops, ipods, cell phones, and sometimes even televisions with DVRs. It turns out twenty-first century hippies like take-out dinners, expensive shoes, and luxury vacations, too. Despite these habits, there's something different -- more deliberate, perhaps -- in the way most new-age granola types approach their consumer identity than the general, Black Friday shopping masses.

When it comes to revolutionary pondering of the mental shift required to protect the earth and rescue the human race from certain implosion, it's clear that we must address the consumer attitude of the peoples. For the most part, the general tendency of the eco-warrior is to approach this task with a certain level of preachy anger towards the ignorance of others...and we know how well that doesn't work. It's pretty basic really: nobody but nobody in this culture wants to be ordered around. Nobody wants to have their spending habits scrutinized as contributing to the fall of the current empire.

Revolutionary talk can be pretty dramatic, you know.

But we need to figure this thing out. We need to acknowledge that things have gotten out of control and consider ways to empower the little guys (that's us, by the way) to resist the system and stand up for positive change.

Recently, a loved one took the time to ask the hippy relatives questions about her grocery shopping routine. She wanted tips on eco-friendly ways to shop for food, paper products, cleaning supplies, etc. What I learned is that she, like so many others, honestly didn't have the knowledge about the impact of one-crop, mass farming. She didn't realize there's a legitimate ecological difference if she buys pesticide-free, locally grown produce or goes to Ralph's for whatever just came off the boat. She wasn't aware that items such as laundry detergent or toilet cleaner could be toxic to both the earth and her own body. And she didn't know why she is forbidden from setting foot in that blasted new Old Navy.

Her inquiries enlightened me to the notion that there must be plenty of consumers just like her. People who want to join the creeping-into-mainstream, green-living consciousness, but they really don't know where to start.

My heart grew three sizes that day...

Instead of the old style of lectures and holier-than-thou guilt treatment, it's time that we dig deep and seek out a little sympathy for the typical consumer mind. Not everyone wants to be a full on hippy-type, but most people are willing to adjust their lifestyles in small ways that help. Those of us already making efforts to live the green life, have something real to offer those who simply do not understand the ecological consequences as they head out for another day at the mall, a weekend at Disneyland, or even a necessary trip to the grocery store.

Here's the thing: most of us are never going to be faced with the opportunity to save the world with one perfect idea executed in dramatic, super hero fashion. Talk about exhausting! Rather, the revolution starts with the small changes that can be integrated into the consumer culture, of which we're all victims, of which we're all participants.

So, how about it? It's simple and it really doesn't have to hurt as badly as all that.

The revolution starts in our homes, in our bathrooms and kitchens. The revolution starts by sharing passion for a simple, realistic lifestyle with our families, friends, communities. The revolution just might actually start one person at a time, and why shouldn't that one person be each of us?

We have the knowledge, we have the love, we have the canvas grocery bags and we're not afraid to use them!