Things They Should Have Warned Us About

...or wait. Maybe they did warn us. But whatever, we don't tend to heed such warnings when we're young and invincible, now do we?

Alternate title: Things We Never Thought Would Happen to Us...But Did

1. Adult Acne - Seriously, folks. I think we can all agree that this one of the cruelest little jokes ever, can we not? There are actually some hazy pre-teen memories of my mom complaining about this very thing. But I must have figured it was an isolated incident or perhaps I assumed she was just kidding. At any rate, bumps on the face have been such a constant companion these past twenty-odd years that, come to think of it, I'm not even sure I'd know what to do without their presence. I'd probably find some other way to spend my time and facial product money.

2. Biological Clock - For years, this one sounded like the biggest bunch of malarkey to me. That is, until one day the incessant clock ruckus woke me from my peaceful slumber. I find it interesting. In our culture, we're so hell bent on defying our natural instincts. We combat aging, we manage our anger, we drive in four-wheeled death traps, for crying out loud. Not that far of a stretch, really, to want to be-still the internal tickity-tocks. It's something over which I continue to slap the snooze button.

3. Screaming Children = Nails on a Chalkboard - Let me just preface: I adore children. Just not when they're screaming. I was most definitely a child who exercised my screaming muscles frequently -- gleefully even -- without giving it a thought. It was easy to dismiss parental fears of "what will the neighbors think we're doing to you?" How else was I to express myself, after all? Fast-forward to present day: we live across the street from two homes which must house a minimum of a dozen children, each. Summertime always finds said children running around their yards and driveways, screeching their little hearts out...often until nearly 11pm. Sure, they're having a blast, but, at my expense, is it really worth it? Sigh. Probably.

4. Teeth Flossing - Just. Do. It. Every. Single. Day. No. Excuses.

5. LOVE - Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I really had no concept of how completely filled with love my childhood was. One of my many blessings that I've only just begun to grasp. Curious, and a weensy bittersweet, how it takes an understanding of the suffering of others to finally appreciate one's own good fortune. Love: a surprisingly time consuming, energy devouring endeavor. Sure, love is patient and love is kind. But love is also work and requires our constant, devoted attention. We have to live it, give it, eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Nurture it, never stop perfecting our ability to offer it to everyone around us, everything around us, everyone and thing that we'll never come across.

OK. That's my top five. What'd I miss?