Twenty Minute Tuesday

For weeks now, my teacher has been exceedingly patient with my non-production of short stories, or even pieces of stories (I'm too sheepish to share the 10 million, unrelated sentences that I've started). He's been giving me all sort of fantastic suggestions and plenty of encouragement, but still I have not gotten off the pot.

One of the more confusing recommendations, for me, is to try reading books from a writer's perspective. Meaning, try thinking about how I might write the scene differently, what different choices would the characters make if this were a tale of mine, etc. Also meaning, pay close attention to the various characters and see if I can pick up on their distinct personalities...it's not as easy as one might think to write a story wherein not every character is coming from the same point of view.

Anyway, I was pretty sure this would fuck up the joy of reading for the rest of time, and I don't think I put much effort into reading like a writer. Until this weekend, that is, when I became engrossed in Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card (a fabulous read, by the way, highly recommend it, but a book report this is not).

Somewhere along the way, I began to actually see how the author cleverly lets the reader know -- and gets us to care about -- each character through simple, unexpected actions and dialogue. Their vulnerabilities, their strengths, their dialects, everything is of that character, that person. And, in theory, it's so damned simple. How does this person answer a phone call differently than that person? How do they react to the choices of another and why? Personalities, turns out, are not fiction, they're reality; and I have experience with personalities.

Hopefully this is the mini-breakthrough I was waiting for. Of course, my relationship with the theory of writing a story is a whole different matter than my discipline to sit down, hash out an actual set of characters and let them lead me where they need to go.

I have two responses to these reading/writing revelations:

1. Hallelujah for this new awareness to bring to my reading. The best part of it all is that reading like a writer has not ruined stories for me, it's enhanced it exceedingly. This is beyond exciting (don't forget, it's the little things!).

2. Per my teachers sage advice: I am not on a timeline, I am not in a writing race, it is OK to feel scared, overwhelmed, crazy, intoxicated, unsure. But it wouldn't hurt to jump off that cliff and find out what...or who...waits for me below.